THE REAL VAGINA MONOLOGUE BY EGOR EFIOK

Hello, Folks! How was your week? First I would ask you all to click on this link to read more and see video after reading my thoughts below.

 Check this

 This is a very serious topic and I have mad respect for Toke Makinwa for broaching the subject. I absolutely cannot stand dirty or unhygienic people and never forget my ‘encounters’ with such people.

As embarrassing as this may seem, ladies, I will give you free hygiene tips regardless, and try to be as detailed as possible.

(1). The vagina is not supposed to have an offensive odour. If it does, please visit your gynaecologist, for you most likely have an infection.

 (2). Please do not wash your vagina with perfumed soaps, femme fresh etc and do not douche; or else you will get Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) and although it is not sexually transmitted, it stinks like rotten fish. When using soap to wash your backside and around the vagina etc, be careful not to allow soap into the vagina. Rinse the soap off first, then use water and Aqueous cream to wash your vagina. Aqueous cream is very cheap and can be found in all pharmacies in London…pharmacies in Nigeria should have them too.

(3). First of all, try and form the habit of doing a number two before you have your shower and in your own environment/comfort zone. NEVER EVER do a number two and use dry tissue to wipe and pull your knickers back up and feel like it’s all good! Gosh! Wash your bottom very well with soap and water EVERY TIME you do a number two.

I don’t trust wipes to do the same job; they should only be used in emergency situations and if you’re not at home, you shouldn’t be comfortable until you go home and wash. If you are in a hurry and don’t have time to undress, then sit across your bathtub and use your shower nozzle to wash…the same way you sat on the toilet to do your business…so it shouldn’t be that hard.

 (4). After peeing, please don’t just wipe with dry tissue. After wiping yourself, please wet some tissue with water and wipe again.

(5). When you’re on your period, try and wash every time you change your sanitary pads or at least three times a day…you no need angry craw craw to add to the already annoying ‘bloody’ discomfort, abi? Ehen!

 (6). Shave shave shave…as in korede (gorimakpa)! At least once a month…maybe after your period. Please I beg you, shave! Okay, for people that don’t really want to be too clean shaven, trim down very well.

Don’t mind those freaky men that get turned on by all sorts of unhygienic ish…if he tells you to keep a bush and you smell of stale urine, he will be the same one to poke jibes at you. Sex isn’t meant to be dirty IMO, so he can find a villager to fulfil his unhygienic desires.

Now for underarm odours…or as my friend puts it…those that smell dimkpa dimkpa (whatever that means, lol):

 (1). The first rule is to always keep your underarms clean shaven.

 (2). After your shower, use a good deodorant…I recommend Sure and if you are extra sweaty, use Sure roll on first and when it dries, use Sure spray again. It is very unattractive to have underarm sweat patches and I believe following this particular advice can prevent them.

 Finally, to prevent mouth odours:

(1). If you have closed teeth like myself, then you MUST floss everyday or ban meat from your diet if you don’t want your mouth to smell like SHIT. Floss before you brush and pass water through your teeth to ensure that no food particles are left.

 (2). Scrape your tongue very well until you can even see how clean it looks.

 (3). Brush teeth and tongue very well with a good fluoride toothpaste and keep passing water through your teeth as you do so and gargle.

 (4). Gargle with a good mouthwash and pass through your teeth. Don’t forget your hair too. Keep it nice, clean and sweet smelling. If you practice all these hygiene tips and any part of your body emits an offensive odour, conk me ten times wherever you see me!

 Ehen…now you can go off and buy the most expensive Gucci bags and you will not be yabbed…(okay that was a Pinocchio)…erm…NOT! Lol.

 Have a nice hygienic weekend all!!! ;) – Kindest Regards

Culled from CharlesNoviaDaily

WHAT PUTIN AND OBAMA HAVE IN COMMON

President Barack Obama's paternal grandfather, Hussein Onyango Obama, was a cook to a British army officer. President Vladimer Putin's paternal grandfather, Spiridon Ivanovitch Putin, was a cook in Lenin's country home and later became a cook to Josef Stalin.

 Who would have ever thought that the grandson's of two mere cooks and men from such a humble lineage could ever become the Presidents of the two most powerful countries on the planet at more or less the same time. As the bible says, ''the Lord exalts the humble and resists the proud''. 
Morale of the tale? Never look down on anyone and treat all men and women, regardless of their station in life, with the respect that they deserve because only God knows tomorrow.

The son or grandson of your servant today may well be the leader of your nation tomorrow. It is also interesting to note that both Putin and Obama have two young daughters but no sons. Obama's predecessor in office, President George W. Bush, also had two daughters and no sons whilst President Bill Clinton, Bush's predecessor in office, also had one daughter and no sons.
Morale of the tale? The test of a man is not in having a son but in achieving his life's ambition and getting to the top. Whether sons or daughters, all children are a blessing from God. We must cherish, appreciate and give thanks to God for our daughters as much as we do for our sons.

FFK

SINGLE

 I know there are loads of people, dudes and ladies who so desperately want to get married. Their lives are either on 'pause' or oscillating around the same spot like a pendulum. They look forward to that person who will 'turn their lives around" and just "fix it". Hope deferred makes the heart sick. It seems to some people that the older they get, the further away the right person seems to move. This long wait has resulted in anxiety and some are on the verge of depression.

You need to know that to think marriage will make you happy is to misplace your expectations. If as a person, your attitude is messed up, marriage won't fix things; it will just complicate the existing mess. Marriage is like building a house. If you're doing the right thing, you'll know it's no fun ride all the way, you'll need to dig, carry tools, get your hands dirty in the process of putting the structure in place. So, an unhappy (expecting to be happy in marriage) person will be overwhelmed when he/she sees that there's work to be done to enjoy marriage. Therefore singles, before embarking on marriage or marriage relationship, be a happy, fulfilled independent single.

Only then are you qualified to enjoy bliss in marriage. A great marriage is the union of two selflessly giving people. Make up your mind to be happy and not wait for your happiness to be hinged on someone else. Only then can you attract the right person. Remember, marriage is the giving of selfless love to one another, you must be ready to compromise (but not your faith). I've come to realize women need a lot of work to help the relationship. 99% of guys love soccer, I will strongly advise you to start developing interest in your time of waiting for the Mr. Right.

You cannot stop him from watching it let's get that clear, if you support him or show interest, it might go a long way in bringing him home to watch with you than in a viewing centre amidst his friends. Look out for what he likes most and develop yourself in such area, it appeases him and makes him feels acceptable. Men love movies, try to watch some too, read books, I keep saying read books because I want you to know something about everything. You can use your frame and figure to attract a man but your intelligence is what will keep him.

An average man admires and appreciate intelligence. So before he comes around, equip yourself!

Men; you can start to learn some cooking tips too, know about ladies' clothing, gift items, baby materials and so on. Reading books and attending seminars are not tagged 'female only', try to develop yourself too.
Your waiting time is useful, make better use of it than exercising worries! Shalom

Oluwatoyin Adebowale

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