1.The Desire to Protect Men, whether overt in nature or well-hidden, are hard-wired to protect. While the damsel-in-distress act is centuries out-dated and annoying at best, allowing your man to see your vulnerable side will unlock his natural instinct to nurture and protect you in his own unique way. Little things like asking his opinion about vacation sites or stock options telegraph that you value his intellect and feel he has your best interests at heart. Asking him to do concrete tasks like changing a light bulb or fixing a broken step will build his sense of accomplishment and support your high regard for his physical attributes. Playing up your feminine figure with soft, delicate fabrics will trigger his infatuation and accentuate the balance that you provide. Ladies, feel free to traipse about in that lacy, frilly blouse or sashay nonchalantly in that slinky dress. It will drive him crazy!
2.The Desire for Freedom Support a man’s need to maintain his freedom and identity independent of you. “By making it clear that you don’t expect your guy to change, he’ll feel like you truly understand him but don’t threaten his sense of self,” says Dan Neuharth, PhD, author of Secrets You Keep from Yourself. If you surprise him with the unexpected, you’ll keep him guessing and he’ll be pining for you without even knowing it. Reassure your man that you foster his need for freedom. Men hate feeling “tied down,” so turning down occasional plans with him will let him know that you have a life separate from him. He just might start wondering what you’re doing and pursue you more. Share your own thoughts and fears about commitment so that he feels you identify with his qualms about moving forward more seriously in the relationship. Last, but certainly not least, respect his privacy. Show that you understand that his physical space signifies his independence and stay out of his drawers and away from his phone when it rings.
3.The Desire to Shine Even the most confident of men have bouts of insecurity and self-doubt. Feed his need to feel respected and appreciated by “increasing self-esteem, both internally and in the eyes of others,” says Dr. Dobransky, “and naturally he’ll want to be attached to you.” Be a source of light even during the most stressful of times by dragging him out of the house when he’s crabby, going to a cheesy movie together, or by taking silly pictures of each other. Brain-teasers like Scrabble, puzzles, and chess challenge his mental skills and prove that you have superb problem-solving abilities, subconsciously swaying his internal desire to carry on his genes with you. Always speak and act with confidence and poise which shows actively that you are a precious jewel to be cherished.
4.The Desire for Comfort Men want to feel the comfort of having a partner who complements their unique personality and with whom they enjoy spending time. Rekindle the feeling of falling in love by making your man feel like the two of you “just fit.” Primp in front of him to enhance intimacy, since this is a special moment only he has the pleasure of witnessing. In males, the enticing smell of food incites spikes in oxytocin levels. The more often the two of you cook together, the more he will associate you with the good feelings he gets from eating. Whoever it was that said “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” was right! Make him feel welcome at your home by stocking up on brands and items he uses at his own place. Subconsciously, he’ll feel at home and see you as a source of safety and security.
There are a few factors such as career challenges and pure panic that cause a man to take a step back from the ledge of commitment and question whether or not he’s ready to take the leap, but by considering these four male relationship desires, the odds are in your favor that he’ll realize he hasn’t just fallen in love with you but he’s also committed to being with you.
Knowing these unique traits that determine a man’s ability to commit doesn’t automatically make the road to a successful, loving relationship an easy one, but it does provide an aerial view of the terrain to help avoid possible potholes and roadblocks along the way. Love in its ability to alter the mental and physical processes of the mind and body proves its power and the need to cherish it as a unifying force.
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